Senate Follies

Who says Vaudeville’s dead? We’ve got the U.S. Senate, one of the greatest comedy acts in the world. Not only do we have the likes of Trent Lott, who was once, apparently erroneously thought of as a conservative claiming that porkbusters are a damn nuisance to him, but we’ve got the likes of John McCain, Teddy “I partied in Chappaquiddick and all I got was this stupid alibi” Kennedy, Arlen Specter and Harry “180” Reid all running around defending the latest amnesty plan they’ve developed for illegals without a thought in their institutionalized little heads given to what the American people might actually want.

I tell you, the laughs just keep on coming. Tammy Bruce has a rip-roarious piece on John McCain and his attempts to shore up the “illegals do jobs Americans won’t do” debate. Look at this .

[...]But he took more questions, including a pointed one on his immigration plan.

McCain responded by saying immigrants were taking jobs nobody else wanted. He offered anybody in the crowd $50 an hour to pick lettuce in Arizona.

Shouts of protest rose from the crowd, with some accepting McCain’s job offer.

“I’ll take it!” one man shouted.

McCain insisted none of them would do such menial labor for a complete season. “You can’t do it, my friends."

Some in the crowd said they didn’t appreciate McCain questioning their work ethic.

See how hilarious John is? He takes an example he and his aides obviously thought over and group-tested and straw-polled to find out if it was the best and throws it out to a union crowd basically calling them lazy bums and thinks they’ll eat it up. And for the record, if someone offered to pay me $50 an hour to pay lettuce, I’d be away from this keyboard so fast, all you’d feel was the breeze.

“You can’t do it my friends”? Well, not that I think those people consider themselves his friend, but I would like to think, given the various menial jobs that Americans have and always will do, that amazingly yes we would do it. As I’ve seen aptly pointed out, does he think that one day eleven million plus illegal immigrants just showed up in our country and all the people who did plumbing, carpentry, fast food, construction, gardening and a host of other “menial” jobs suddenly said “Well, we don’t need to be here anymore, we’ve got illegals. Let’s just go home, collect welfare and watch the soaps”?

One can only assume he does and also that he, like many of his fellow Senators, is completely out of touch with America. He isn’t a Senator from Arizona, he’s a senator from Washington D.C. and those are the interests he really represents. Bank on it.

What about this quote from a veteran senator?

"Our borders have overflowed with illegal immigrants placing tremendous burdens on our criminal justice system, schools and social programs. The Immigration and Naturalization Service needs the ability to step up enforcement. Our federal wallet is stretched to the limit by illegal aliens getting welfare, food stamps, medical care and other benefits often without paying any taxes. Safeguards like welfare and free medical care are in place to boost Americans in need of short-term assistance. These programs were not meant to entice freeloaders and scam artists from around the world. "Even worse, Americans have seen heinous crimes committed by individuals who are here illegally."

It should astonish those who think the Democrats are sinless on this issue to know that that quote was from none other than Harry Reid in 1993. Of course, after trying to push a “get tough on illegals” bill twice, he claims he recanted his beliefs and now believes the complete opposite than he used to, based on a talk with his immigrant wife. So, Harry, did she come here legally? If she did, why should she care about people that do her and her family an injustice by flaunting the law and coming here ILLEGALLY? Does she think she and her parents should have waited behind them to get in? You’re a riot, Harry, a regular riot!

Now Senator Reid even wants to allow convicted felons here illegally the chance to become full citizens. Why not? If you’re going to recant part of a position, why not recant the whole thing? What is it with Democrats and wanting felons to vote? I thought Republicans had the “culture of corruption”? Maybe Democrats just want to make sure the American people know THEY corner the market on corruption (Abscam for example anyone?), not some late-arrival Republicans.

And Teddy Kennedy, well, where does one begin? He’s been shown to be a world-class hypocrite on just about every major issue from the environment to cleaning up political corruption to, well, ethics lectures (sorry, you leave a woman to die drowning in a car you crashed, you pretty much lose any claim to knowing anything about ethics). He’s a kegger and a beer bong away from being the oldest frat boy on the planet. All we need are a few fart jokes on the Senate floor, and Kennedy will complete his already clown-like image. If you weren’t such a scumbag, Teddy, you’d have swallowed your own tongue years ago and put us out of our misery.

So who says the Senate isn’t awash with comedy? One hardly needs Comedy Central when one has such quality A-list talent right up the swamp on Capitol Hill. C-Span really should charge a cover and two-drink minimum for this floor show.